Picking Raspberries With My Daughter

“Daddy, there’s a ripe one over here.”

“Okay.”

“Ooohh, there’s a bunch of ripe ones over here.”

“I can only pick one place at a time.”

“AHHHH!  SPIDER!”

“You want to pick raspberries, you’re gonna run into spiders, Bright Eyes.”

Seven years ago, when my daughter turned one year old, my family and I had to move out of our apartment in the NW suburbs of Chicago and out to the Illinois River Valley area.  When we first bought our house out here in the sticks, my mother gave me one small raspberry cane as a housewarming gift.  I planted it in a convenient corner of our yard, right next to the garage, and that first Fall it gave us a glorious harvest of about 11 berries. Fast forward to today: that one cane is now a massive thicket fully 10ft by 10ft that threatens to take over our yard, my daughter is now a talkative, helpful 3rd grader, and today we picked raspberries. Correction, I picked raspberries and she played lookout.

A little info on red raspberries. There are two ways to grow them; either cut the canes back in November or so, or leave them be. If you cut the canes you get one big harvest in late August or early September. If you leave them, which I prefer to do, the old growth flowers early and you get two harvests, one in late June and another at the beginning of Fall. The downside to leaving the canes uncut is that raspberries spread. Every year my thicket gains about a foot outward and gets lusher in the center.  Raspberries will grow in shade but prefer sun and will harvest sooner that way, and give the best berries if given plenty of water.  That being said, mine are mostly in the shade and the only water I give them is when I dump out my dehumidifier, and I still get more berries than I know what to do with. Basically, they are a bountiful weed that thrives on neglect, perfect for a lazy bum like me.

Speaking of lazy bum, that’s really the main reason I don’t cut the canes back. Come November, once the first good frost hits, those things put the rasp in raspberry. They are coated in tiny thorns as sharp as any rose’s, but during the summer the canes are flexible so they’re not that bad. In Fall they are downright vicious. Also, I never remember to pick the bloody berries, so having two harvest gives me more chances to actually do it.

Today, I had no excuse. My daughter and her big brother were outside playing before dinner on a glorious, sunny-and-70 September Sunday when suddenly she comes in and interrupts me in the middle of making the mashed potatoes.

“Daddy, there are TONS of raspberries outside!  Can we go pick them?”

“After dinner, sure.”

“We’re gonna need a big bowl, can you get me one?”

I pull a mixing bowl out of a cabinet and hand it to her. She skips off to leave it by the front door, and I am struck by how little it really takes to make a kid happy: a plan, some direct attention, some one-on-one time, and some novelty.

After dinner we tromp through the leaves from the ash trees in our yard to the raspberry thicket. As described, it is positively drooping with berries, more than a few past ripeness. They’re not very big, no larger than the tip of my pinkie at best, no surprise with the dry, cool summer we had, but I pop one in my mouth instead of the bowl and the taste blows me away. I can never get over how much more flavor home-grown produce has compared to the plastic crap that passes for food at the grocery store. Even the stuff from the local orchard and produce place in the next town can’t compare.

I carefully thread my feet as deep into the thicket as I can get, while my daughter stands behind me with the bowl, unnecessarily pointing out berries and squealing at every strand of spiderweb. Spiders love the thickets, especially the big, yellow-and-black garden spiders, which I do NOT point out to her; her horror of arachnids almost rivals her mother’s.  The sun shines low and golden through the leaves, warm but definitely not summery anymore. Autumn is here, even though we are ten days to the equinox, and while there may be a few more warm days left, they will be few and short-lived.

The bowl fills quickly, every cane contributing a handful.  Soon my fingers are stained red and my palms and wrists itch from the thorns. The fall harvest is always more pleasant than the summer; far fewer mosquitoes to add to the itchiness. I step out and then back into another gap, reaching and stretching for the canes closest to the garage. The cool north breeze blows my hair in my eyes, annoying but a pleasant counter to the sun. The sky is that perfect, crystalline blue you never see in the summer, a few soft, white clouds setting off the color perfectly, the ones closer to the western horizon just starting to shift over to gold.

“Daddy, I’m cold.”

I turn back and look at her. Ever the warm weather child, she is dressed in a light summer dress despite the cooler day. She’s grown at least 2 inches over the summer, and is looking less and less like a little girl all the time. The first signs of coltish adolescence is starting to show in the length of her legs, the fine bones of her shoulders and throat. She will be tall, and with her fair skin, her sharp, elfin features, and those huge gray-blue eyes, I know she will be beautiful. She has a very direct stare when talking, and I can already imagine the boys stumble-stuttering under her gaze.

“Do you want to go inside?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, go jump in the shower, there’s school tomorrow. I’ll finish up.”

“Okay, Daddy. Can I have ice cream?”

“Shower first. Scoot.”

“Fine.”  She starts off and then turns back. “I love you, Daddy.”

I have to smile at that. “I love you too, Bright Eyes.”

She skips off through the lengthening shadows, and I turn to finish picking the raspberries.

Seven Miles Up

Last week I went to Las Vegas for the annual GME Conference, and on the flight back I was able to get a window seat.  I’ve always loved being able to look out and watch the world from so high up, and I was inspired to write one of my now-rare poems.  I hope you enjoy it.

Seven Miles Up

Everyone should take an airplane trip once in a while

to gain a little humility,

to see our great constructs as patterned specks

our vast farmlands as a patterned quilt

the mountains themselves as crumpled paper

squeezed by some great Hand and then dropped.

Even the great rivers are reduced

to ribbons of silver bordered by fronds of green

like filing gathered around a sinuous magnet.

And then to look

up

up

up to a sky so utterly blue

it seems a breath could blow it away

and reveal the black and star-strewn Kosmos

hidden behind the azure film.

From seven miles up

the world seems both vaster and more small.

Hidden patterns of nature and of our own

are laid plain.

Life, us, all things strive for patterns

sense from senselessness

and in that we find beauty.

The meanders of a river

the whorls on my fingertip

the billion year dance of stars.

Patterns will out,

and in this I sense the Oneness of all things.

Oneness Is Boring

I got to a place about a decade ago where I thought I’d figured out The Big One, that my beliefs and ideas had found a final basic shape and everything else from there on out was just details. Oneness, the inherent Unity of all things, was the Grand Truth, our attachment to outcomes was the cause of all our misery, and we needed to “let go and let God”, surrender our free will to the Will of All and just go with the flow. This mindset worked for me for a while, but as the years passed I found myself feeling less and less content, less and less focused, less and less at peace. Recently this feeling changed, and I can now look back upon that time and put my finger on what the problem was.

My soul was bored.

You see, Unity may be the Ultimate Truth, but Unity is also incredibly, horrendously, cataclysmically boring, at least for your soul. It’s great bliss for your mind and heart, don’t get me wrong, but your soul just kinda sits there and says “yeah, yeah, been here, done this, bought the T-shirt, didn’t fit.” You soul knows Unity already because your soul is Unity, and It/you came here to experience something that was not Unity. That’s the whole point of physical existence, to be un-Unified.
To quote Richard Bach, we are the otters of the universe: playful, curious creatures who love the new and the different. Our soul is our inner child, and merely hanging out Oneness is the spiritual equivalent of taking your inner child shoe shopping; all well and good if the shoes light up and do neat things, but gets old really fast. Our soul doesn’t want Oneness it wants to jump in mud puddles and sing loudly to bad songs and get the lyrics wrong and chase fireflies at twilight and imagine clouds as turtles and elephants and dragons and have fun!!
dichotomy
Also, whether we like it or not, our soul also longs for the negative.
What?  That doesn’t make any sense, does it? Why would our souls want negative experiences? But this does make sense if you truly understand what the purpose of existence is.  We are here to experience individuation, to dive into the dichotomies of being a linear being. Linear existence is nothing but dichotomies: up and down, left and right, good and evil, black and white. Reality is this way because it creates a field of context against which we can create our sense of self. We need an idea of wrong to decide to be right, we need the context of unfair in order to act fairly. We need these negative experiences if we want to experience the positive. Don’t believe me? Look at your life. How many times has life built you up only to tear you down? How many times have you hit bottom only to have just the right positive thing come along to help you back up again? My life is nothing but examples of this, rollercoaster rides of up and down and left and right and round and round, each one an opportunity for me to forge a new and better example of who I am and who I wish to be.
“This too shall pass.” Wiser words were never spoken, because this is what we truly want, at the level of our souls.  All else, to be honest, is boring.